Snow day

On my day off I stayed in bed all day. I watched Shawshank Redemption and slept. I didn't do anything fun. I was home alone all day. Then I watched Gilmore Girls for a few hours. And went to bed around 2 in the morning. That's all I did all day. Nothing exciting. 

Free write

    Why do high schoolers have to be so busy. We have so much stuff to do we have no time left for social activities or sleep! My schedule includes work, archery Thuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. Color guard Wednesday, and Thursday. Plus school, and whatever homework I have. I've been so tired lately, I don't even know the last time I felt not tired. Why do Americans feel the need to constantly be on the go? 

Middle school

    A comon converstaion that occurs in my group of friends is middle school. Middle school is just a horrible experience for everyone. They take tweens that are going through the most awkward, horemone filled time of thier lives, and shove them in a building together.  Everyone trying to figure out what it means to be 'looking for yourself'. You don't know that your supposed to be confused. In middle school your like "yeah, this is me" when in reality you have absolutely no idea what your doing, because your just going whatever everyone else is doing.

   In high school you start to realize that you have no clue what your doing. You realize that anything that happens in middle school, has no worth. Middle school is nothing but torture. High school, you start looking for yourself. You start to think about who you want to be. Middle school is just 3 years of puberty filled torture. 

Regrets

        I guess this started a year ago. I spent a weekend away from all my friends and family. Not talking to anyone. And I realized I was depressed. So I told my boyfriend. And he just kind of blew it off and told me I didn't have a reason to be depressed. That's what started our issue.he was upset that I wasn't happy, because I had every reason to be happy. I had told him that something had to change, anything. But nothing ever changed.

        Eventually we just started growing apart. We hung out less, we talked less. We spent more time with our group of friends than with eachother. One of his best friends started talking to be about my depression, we got pretty close. We had been friends since like 7th grade but now we were getting closer. And one day we kissed. Don't know how it happened, don't know why. But it happened.

        The next day I told my boyfriend. I told him I hadn't been happy, which he knew, and the kiss just happend. And that I was so sorry. I said I still wanted to be friends, and we are. I'd say were still in love, but I guess were better without eachother. 

       The end result was our entire group of friends split up, we haven't hung out in months. It's awful, I'm miserable for ruining such a good friendship between the 10 of us. But I'm finally happy again, so I don't 100% regret it. But I'm not proud of the way things happened. 

Fall break

     I started my fall break by working Wednesday night 4-9. I went home and slept. Got up Thursday morning and went out to eat with Jessica, Zoei, and Taylor. We went to Cracker Barrel. Then we came back to town and I hung out with Scott until 4 when I went in for work. I got off at 9 then skyped with Scott until 2:30 in the morning

     Friday Scott and his cousin came over around noon. Then the three of us, and Jarod went to see Gone Girl. We came home, then went on a walk. After that Mary came over, around 1 Scott and his cousin left and Mary and I went to sleep. We woke up, ate breakfast, talked about life, then I went to work at 4. Then I went home, skyped Scott, and played minecraft with my sisters. We were up til around 3. Then Sunday, I went to work, got off early at 8:40. Scott happened to be in town so he picked me up, drove me home. I ate dinner, then I messed around on my computer. Pretty exciting. 

If I were an animal

     If I were an animal I would be a cat. Cats don't have any responsibilities. Cats don't have to worry about thinking. Cats just eat and sleep. They love to be cuddled but can walk away when they want to. Cats do what cats want.

     Cats don't really have a purpose. I'm only 16 and I'm already tired of this adult life thing tat we have to do. I don't want to have responasblities anymore. I want to be able to eat and sleep away my problems. I don't want to have to do anything.

     I don't want to have to make in impact in the world. I like the idea of shutting myself in. Not having to talk to people. And if I do chose to talk to people I like the idea of being able to just walk away when I want to. I want to be able to live on my own terms, I just want to be a cat. 

Embarrassing stories

At my first rock concert I passed out. We were in a mosh pit. And I felt it coming so I turned around and put my arms around Nick. And the next thing I knew a stranger was carrying me up the stairs. Then I had to get intarogated on why Iaased out. About a week later all my friends told me my shirt basically came off. They still make fun of me for it.