Journal #11

T: Jazmond, I can't do this anymore

J: Yes, you can. Your such an amazing person. Don't give up.

T: but no one cares about me

J: I care about you

T: I just want to kill myself

J: Dont. Your my best friend, I can't live without you.

T: You have other friends.

J: But your my best friend. I'm not gonna lose you.

T: I'm never gonna be loved, no one cares... No one will ever care

J: But I care! Don't you dare leave me alone in this world! I know your life sucks, but so does mine! I love you! I care! I'm here whenever you need me, obviously! So don't do this! 

T: But your just one person.

J: Isnt that enough?

T: not really. 

J: I won't let you do this, man. 

T: How are you gonna stop me?

J: I just will. 

T: whatever

J: Dude, you've been my best friend since preschool, I love you with all my heart. Your not gonna leave my alone. Your so amazing. One day your gonna find an amazing woman and marry her. Your still young, you don't need love yet. But you have me, you'll always have me. Don't give up man, i need you. 

T: thanks, Jazmond. I just feel so alone

J: I know... I do too. But we'll always have each other. 

T: anyway, thanks

J: You don't have to thank me, this is what friends are for

T: I'm thanking you anyway. 

J: well, I'm here any time, you know that.

T: yeah, I know.

J: so if were both still alone when were like 40 do you wanna get married?

T: Um, no. Your like my sister

J: You said you felt alone! I would be a good companion! :P

T: no, that's weird. 

J: Fine, we can just die old and alone then!! Night!! Butthole, I would be a good wife!!

You find a letter on a plane, you decide to read it. What does it say?

Dear, mom

                 I'm sorry for all the mistakes I've made. I never met to hurt you the way I did. I'm sorry I ran away as soon as I turned 18. I just needed it for me. The last thing I wanted to do was break your heart the way I did. I did good at starting my own life. I worked for a year, then started night school. I got a decent apartment. It's been amazing being on my own. 

                 I never felt like myself at home, I never felt like the same person 2 days in a row. I lost myself, and you know it. I just had to find myself. And I did. I was scared if I came home, or talked to you about how much you missed me, I would lose myself again. I never ment to go this long without you. But being alone is really working for me. 

                 I made a few friends from work, do don't worry. I'm not completely alone. I haven't talked to anyone from home since I left. I just wanted to tell you I love you, and I'm sorry. And I want to come home and see you and my sisters. I'll see you on thanksgiving. 

                                                                                        Love, your little girl. 

Journal #8

I guess today is a free write. I don't really have anything interesting to say. I haven't had a very interesting week. I lost all my friends, everyone hates me. I'm just ready for this weekend to be over and for next week to start. I'm ready for next Friday to come so I can hang out with the few friends I have left. I have to work all weekend so I won't have anyone to talk to, I'll just be alone with my thoughts. I'm just ready to be out of high school and on my own. 

Journal #7 9/11

I've never really been told that much about it. It's never really been a big part of my life. Once I got older I realized the big deal behind it. But I don't really know very much about it. My family never stressed the significance of it, I really only know what the school has told me.

I did see a documentary about a man that got bit by a really poisonous snake around the time the plane hit. And since it was an air attack a Samaritan couldn't get to him and he almost died. He lived though. That's really the only interesting thing about 9/11 I know. Besides that story about the red bandana that was really popular last year. 

We remember because it was an attack on America. And as Americans were gonna stand up for ourselves. Were gonna get revenge. Innocent people died. This is supposed to be the land of the free and the home of the brave, and were showing how brave we are. 

Journal #6 break up letter

Dear, first love

               I'm sorry things ended the way they did. I never ment to hurt you like that. I always just wanted you to be happy. I got so wrapped up in that I forgot to make myself happy. And your so focused on making everyone else happy I guess you forgot about me too. 

               I hope you find a girl that will treat you better than what I did. I always tried my hardest, until you stopped trying. I don't blame you, but I also don't blame myself. It was a mutual fail between the both of us. But I definitely hurt you worse. But I guess because I could feel you starting to let go, so I started to let go, then you held on tighter. I know it's not officially over yet, but I think that's what is best for you. To find someone that will love you. 

              We promised we would always be friends if we ever ended. But after what I did you probably don't want that anymore, I respect that. So try to be happy, okay? Sorry I was such a horrible friend, but I think this is for the best. I still love you, and your still my best friend

                                                                                    Sencirely, the worst person in the world.

How do you plan to make a difference

     I plan on being a nurse when I'm older. A OB nurse. I want to help women have better pregnancies, and help them have healthier babies. Some mothers don't put thier baby first, ever. And I want to make sure there is at least one person standing up for every baby. 

     Or I might want to be a counselor and help people recover from drug use and help them get thier family and life back. I just want to help people. I want everyone to at least have one person help them through life. I don't want anyone to have to fight thier battle completely alone. 

Don't throw up on your friends

     One time I had a really bad day at work. As I was leaving my friend said something to me, nothing important. I snapped at them for nothing. Nothing bad happened as a result, were still friends. I shouldn't have gotten mad at her for something she didn't even do.

Journal #4

          I really enjoyed the guest speaker. A lot of my family members would rather do drugs than parent thier children. I actually want to peruse a career in drug counseling. Or something along those lines. Like talking to kids who have parents that put drugs first. Or talking to the parents that put the drugs first. Because I believe, no matter what kind of drug it is, it's stupid. Why ruin your health, family, and life for it? When loving your family and friends could make you so much happier. 

Journal #2 write a letter to someone you no longer talk to

Dear Travis, 

                I know we don't talk anymore, and I really miss you. You were my best friend for a while. I miss talking to you everyday. Even though we never met in person you were still really important to me. But now since you met the girl of your dreams you don't have time for me anymore. That's okay I guess. 

                Even though you promised she wouldn't change our friendship, and that we would always be close. How long did that last? Less than a month after you met her. I'm sorry for all the harsh things I said about her, I still mean everything I said though. 

                So anyway, I I guess this is goodbye forever. I hope you have a nice life and that she makes you happy. Even though I don't think you should ruin friendships for romantic relationships. But it's your life. Goodbye. 

                                                                                               Love,

                                                                                                        Jazmond 

What sucks is

What sucks is... Growing up. I hate having responsibilities. I hate having to work and balance my check book. I wanna be a kid again. What sucks is having to go to school and to work. And all the requirement the school has. I guess life itself sucks.